Are you judgy? Judgmental of others without realizing it?
Sometimes we think we’re simply watching people, but before we know it, we begin labeling them and passing judgment on them. How often do we slip into that mindset without even realizing it?
In today’s episode, we’ll explore what it is like to be judgy and how it makes us feel.
Topic references:
TEMPER
Was this a feeling? Or was it temper? The answer is plain: if she was merely irritated and annoyed, it was a more or less unadulterated feeling; if she proceeded to condemn the offender as wrong and to exalt herself as right, it was temper. You will now understand that feelings are of three kinds: sympathy, apathy, antipathy, either toward oneself or others. Temper is of one kind only: antipathy (a strong feeling of dislike, hostility, or disgust toward something or someone), against oneself or the other person, plus the judgment of right and wrong.
Feelings can be reported. They lend themselves to matter-of-fact discussion and calm appraisal. But temper, involving a claim to being right, cannot be reported objectively, calmly and matter-of-factly. It invariably leads to arguments, debates and rebuttals.
Florence needed training in Recovery to learn that temper is different from feeling. … temper, far from being identical with feeling, is its very opposite. It is positively ignoble and disrupting group life.
Temper Masquerading As "Feeling", from Mental Health Through Will Training, chapter 18, pages 177-178 in the 1997 edition
ANNETTE: It is these two pleasures letting off steam and feeling in the right that our physician calls the "dual premium placed on temper."
Temper, Sovereignty and Fellowship, from Mental Health Through Will Training, chapter 3, page 55 in the 1997 edition
TRAINING
CAROL: About this temper. I think it is grand that we have been drilled to get rid of it. ... And when I feel my temper rising, I cut the feeling down, and it doesn't have a chance at all.
Temper, Sovereignty and Fellowship, from Mental Health Through Will Training, chapter 3, page 55 in the 1997 edition
MOTIONLESS SITTING
… control of restlessness and agitation through determined motionless sitting
Mental Health Through Will Training, chapter 41, Sabotage Method No. 9: Failure to Practice Muscle Control, page 327 in the 3rd edition
For a detailed description see Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger, lecture 56, There Is No Hopeless Case (part 2), pages 352-353