Perfectionism
Do you ever find yourself striving for flawless performance in everything you do? Does your inner critic tell you that you make too many mistakes, when other people might wonder, "What's the big deal?"
How is this drive for perfection impacting your life?
Join us as we explore how to lighten up and enjoy the freedom of being human and imperfect.
Topic references:
PERFECTION
“To (a perfectionist)…every puny endeavor, each trivial enterprise is a challenge to prove and to maintain his exceptional stature. His life is a perennial test of his singularity and distinction. For him there are no trivialities, no routine performances. He is forever on trial, before his own inner seat of judgment, for his excellence and exceptional ability. He cannot achieve poise, relaxation, spontaneity. He cannot afford to have the COURAGE TO MAKE MISTAKES. A mistake might wipe out his pretense of being superior, important, exceptional. With no margin left for mistakes he is perpetually haunted by the fear of making them.” …
Mildred, trained in the philosophy of Recovery, learned to scorn faultless operations and perfect performances. In the process, she acquired poise and relaxation and is now in the happy position of doing jobs efficiently (not perfectly, not faultlessly) by the simple procedure of practicing the COURAGE TO MAKE MISTAKES in the trivial affairs of her daily round.
Mental Health Through Will Training, Chapter 30: The Courage to Make Mistakes, pages 250, 252
FEAR
During the first few weeks of treatment Nick made little progress. … ‘I have always been dumb and irresponsible,’ he said, ‘but I covered up and got by.’ …
The question is: why do my patients hold on to their fearful beliefs with a determination which thwarts every attempt to change them? Beliefs can be altered and dropped at will. Why do my patients fail to use their Will for the purpose of discarding their fear beliefs? …
The answer is that fear, though tormenting and damaging to mental balance and physical welfare, is also a value. In its milder degrees, in the shape of worry, caution, circumspection, prudence and wariness, it is positively helpful in avoiding danger. In this sense, fear is a protection against hazard and misfortune. …
Prior to his Recovery training he had failed to realize that devices and tools must be used with discrimination. Soon he learned that what must be discriminated were: mild cautions, on the one hand, which are beneficial and valuable, and severe fears, on the other, which are harmful and the very reverse of a value. Our spotting techniques gave him the means of approaching the inner and outer dangers with a mature, discriminating view. After acquiring a reasonable facility with the spotting art he entered a process of late maturation and discarded the WILL TO FEAR.”
Selections from Dr. Low’s Works, Dr. Low's Column: The Will to Fear, December 1952, pages 100-104
MOTIONLESS SITTING
control of restlessness and agitation through determined motionless sitting
Mental Health Through Will Training, chapter 41, Sabotage Method No. 9: Failure to Practice Muscle Control, page 327 in the 3rd edition
For a detailed description see Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger, lecture 56, There Is No Hopeless Case (part 2), pages 352-353